Sunday, March 18, 2018

Exausted but enjoying this video on Scotland

I feel like i need a warm vacation, I keep doing ok then getting sick for a days then ok then sick again. And it seems to change constantly. (My moods) Every time i get sick its not like the way it was before and i never know how or when its going to hit me. The one thing i hate is after my accident i feel frozen, Like allot of my feelings are gone. Its like im outside my body. I keep trying mindfulness but it only takes a second of stress real or not before im back seperated again. Also my wsib is not going to cover emdr treatment the doctors want me to get and i feel i really need. So i need to prepare for a fight. And thats not helping at all. Im finding this ptsd thing pretty hard and complicated. And i also keep busting out in hives when i get over stressed. Lol fuc. Mostly i find it best to sleep for the most part. 
Im also trying to save money or just spend less. But yesterday i went out with my friend for brunch and had a grilled cheese with hashbrowns and the tiniest beer i have ever seen and my bill was $27. No wonder i cant afford to eat out any more. Lol Fuc. The city is getting too hip to fast. 
Well in terms of a fake vacation i have been watching this old video from 1979 about walking through rural places in Scotland.  And im actually not ready for a vacation, too exhausting. But this video is fun to watch and feels like im on one for a sec. Lol My adoptive parents where Scottish and its cool to see how things where in Scotland when they where around. Its also very beautiful!
He seems to like to visit old fishing villages and he is also a bird lover like me. Its nice. You get it from the library. 
Weir's way 1979. 

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